Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
