He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You need Xanax blowdarts
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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