you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
