how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
