he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
