the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize