What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
