they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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