just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
