I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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