On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
