Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
