He is like the real live version of the state fair..
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
