Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
