Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
