Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i barfeds in our rink
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
