Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
