You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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