Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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