We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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