Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
