Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
