I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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