I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
she told me i tasted like america
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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