he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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