so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
