The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
