that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
