I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
