My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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