i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
