I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
