she looked like the bat from fern gully.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize