So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
