take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize