I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
