If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize