we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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