whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
P.S. I can't hear my feet
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
