no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My Higher Power is John Stamos
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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