Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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