my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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