it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
