i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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