I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
