you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
