Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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