Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
