Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
