I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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