wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
