I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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