KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
