I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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