Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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