I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
