Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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