This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
