hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
