seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
