ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
